Every man likes to think that he is unique, but as we're learning, we tend to fall easily into identifiable categories. Today we'll examine the archetypes that I like to refer to as Dudes and Bros.
Dudes are self-confident men with a sense of style that they pulled from a magazine which probably also features modified cars. Dudes have "cool" hobbies like, snowboarding, motocross, or playing in a band. They drink beer -- mostly lager, but sometimes Guinness if they want to seem cooler -- and hang out in sports bars. They enjoy sports as much as Guys, but they aren't quite Sports Guys, because that isn't "cool". They may wear a vintage ballcap out of the house or adorn themselves with a hockey jersey while they're at home, but they steer clear of logo sweatshirts.
Dudes often have facial hair which they pride themselves on. Typically you'll see the gotee or soulpatch in a meticulously trimmed presentation, but Dudes will sometimes go for the wolverine or a full out beard just because it feels cool and unique. Dudes wear sunglasses often. They buy designer brands, but stick to classic names like Ray-Ban and don't go near the trendy D&G frames. They aren't afraid of fashion, but they would rather wear something that they believe states something about their self image. That's why they wear leather jackets, wallets that attach to their belts with chains, and boots more often than sneakers.
Dudes collect things. I'm not talking about comic books or baseball cards. No, that would be too nerdy for a Dude. They collect shot glasses, or car parts, or skateboards. Dudes see value in objects that compliment their hobbies.
So why don't Dudes qualify as Men? Do be honest, they are well on their way. Their ability to identify and integrate style into their clothing choices is a benefit. Yet, they tend to miss the mark by filling their wardrobe with graphic t-shirts, hoodies, and acid wash, boot-cut jeans. Dudes have a lot of t-shirts. They buy them compulsively to commemorate life events or express new interests that they developed. The time to retire your Warped Tour 1998 t-shirt was 5 minutes after you left that festival. Also, no one needs to see that you support West Coast Choppers by having their logo emblazoned onto your chest. The Superman logo t-shirt isn't as cool as you think.
Dudes can make style choices, but they too often make the wrong ones. But once you know the rules of style that apply to Men, you can quickly adapt. To be fair, and entirely honest, I have some t-shirts that I hesitate to give up. They have graphics on them. I wear them from time to time because they are comfortable. Being a Man doesn't mean that you have to wear a blazer to do yard work. There's still plenty of call for jeans and t-shirts in a Man's life. However, it shouldn't be your default attire and it certainly shouldn't be what you're wearing when you go out.
That brings us to Bros. Oh, Bros. You are, in my opinion, the worse examples of the male gender. Bros cover a broad spectrum from Gym Rats to Club Douches and right on down to Beach Idiots. Where do I even begin?
Bros, at their core, are in love with themselves. They cannot hold down a long-term relationship because their ego intrudes too far into the space in their brains where most people house empathy. Everything they do stems from their desire to advertise their own greatness. They work on their bodies incessantly. Bros can be found at the gym daily or, if they're really serious, they have gym equipment at home.
They wear muscle t-shirts and tanktops that are too small. Cargo pants, shorts, or designer sweatpants are a favorite too. However, when they go out to the club, they dress to impress. They buy big label clothing. They don't actually posses taste, they simply buy what's expensive and comes in black or some bright color that they like... usually yellow or pink. Bros have extensive wardrobes, filled with Ed Hardy t-shirts, True Religion jeans, Affliction polos, and the rest is Abercrombie & Fitch. Younger Bros may also try to pull off Hollister.
Beyond the clothing, Bros put a lot of effort into grooming poorly. They use what should be illegal quantities of hair product to force their bangs 8 inches into the air. Some of them sport facial hair in the form of a skinny gotee or the detestable "chin strap" beard. I was literally shaking my head as I typed that last bit.
Bros tan. Most of them try to do it naturally by hanging out on the beach all summer long, but more often than not, nature is not up to the task of charring their skin as darkly as they'd prefer, so artificial means are employed. Spray tans are the popular choice of the Bro on the go, where as unemployed, or lightly employed Bros will use a tanning bed before or after one of their two daily trips to the gym.
Bros play Call of Duty on Xbox360. Video games aren't, in themselves, un-manly, but there's a certain juvenile thrill attached to Call of Duty that draws Bros in droves. It probably feeds their competitive nature and gives them the opportunity to "own" their rivals, again proving to themselves what they already know: "I'm great!"
Why aren't Bros "Men"? A Man is concerned about his appearance, but not showy. A Man conducts himself in a manner that conforms to societal norms for "respectable". A Man embraces his natural skin tone and the hair that has been given to him. He does not attempt to alter his body by way of tanning elixirs, hair coloring solutions or gels. Bros are insecure in who they are underneath the muscles and overpriced t-shirts, so they over-compensate. A Man is self-assured, but not cocky. This puts Bros on the wrong side of self-confidence.
Dudes and Bros are, in many ways, males who have lost their way on the path to manhood. I'm not qualified to comment on the childhood missteps that may have lead them in this unfortunate direction, but I can say that their continuation in the lifestyle they've grown into is a sign of non-conformity as a defense mechanism. They are attempting to garner love, appreciation, or respect from their peers by creating for themselves a larger-than-life persona. This charade is flimsy and easily falls to pieces when compared to a real Man, as we'll see.
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