Male Archetypes - The Guy

Men exist in gradations of manliness with unique traits along the scale. Today we'll examine one of the common archetypes of the male: the Guy.

Guys are the most common form of males you'll see. They're almost generic in their presentation. They are easy to overlook, they're inoffensive, and most likely to have a lot of friends. Most males who fall into the Guy category assume they're "doing ok." They don't see themselves as douchebags, so they figure they're better than the bottom-feeders. They usually aren't "pretty boys" but they're ok with that. Most Guys are glad they don't look and act like Jude Law, but beyond that, they don't really have any men that they model themselves after.

Guys dress for utility and comfort. They are presentable in most situations, but when called upon to "dress up" for an occasion, at best they look like frightened dog with too much hair gel and an ill-fitted jacket or, at worst, they simply wear a button-up t-shirt with the fewest stains.  In general, Guys have no idea what fashion trends are and they don't care. The suit that their parents purchased for them in high school is probably still in their closet, "just in case." If disaster strikes, they'll try to put that thing on, and when that fails, they'll make the best whatever they already have that fits.

Guys are oblivious to the virtues of better dressing. They can't wrap their heads around why you'd want to wear a shirt with a collar that isn't a polo t. That's not to say that they are stupid, they just don't see clothing as a priority.

In the world of dating and courtship, most women will settle for a Guy. Some women even prefer Guys for the fact that they'll usually go along with just about anything with minimal complaining. The frustration comes in when a woman tries to re-style her Guy. That never works out well. The Guy will begrudgingly wear whatever he's told for the absolute minimal time necessary to escape nagging. Period. Full stop.

Within the sphere of Guys, there are a few sub-groups. Sports Guys, Nice Guys, and Shy Guys.  

Sports Guys are similar to what we've described above, with the added bonus of a [insert sport here] shirt being their default attire... for every occasion.  Sports Guys tend to be the least desirable category of Guys, from the perspective of women as they are less likely to agree to activities that interfere with the consumption of sport.

Nice Guys are just modified versions of the basic Guy, with the addition of a very annoying personality quirk: deliberate niceness. They pride themselves on "not being jerks" to women and they are constantly adjusting their actions based on this self-awareness. Nice Guys think they have a leg up over the competition, but they don't. They are crippled by their insecurities and their compulsion to conform themselves to whatever they think women want them to be. They will wear the hideous sweater that their girlfriend bought them all the time. They will walk the absurd little dog through the neighborhood so their wife doesn't have to. Sorry, Nice Guys. You're still doing it wrong.

Shy Guys are an odd sub-group. They want to be Nice Guys, but they lack the ambition. They exist in a world where they admire women from a distance. They are perpetually stuck in the "friend zone." Ironically, because they are seen as "inferior" by most other male archetypes, they often have more female friends than male friends. Shy Guys are frequently mistaken for being gay. The Shy Guy eventually evolves into a Nice Guy or remains a bachelor for life.  These Guys could still be men, but they have a lot farther to go.

That's the Guy category. If you're honest with yourself, and you fit this archetype, don't dismay. Actually, you're probably not dismayed. You most likely think you're doing fine. However, if this has caused you to question your manliness, take heart! We're setting out on a journey to become better men together!